Rubbish

What I am feeling right now is something I shouldn't.
I mean who knows the the feeling of numbness at this time in life. People at this time are busy.
Busy being in love, busy finding love, busy faking I love, busy understanding one.
Some watch different laughter channels which I can't hate any more.
People watching hollywood bollywood movies.
People marrying, people dating.
But what I am bothered right now is my notepad isn't fast enough. I know this is weird.
Im weird.
The type of love I want can't exsist. Trust me I have had all judged and checked.
Even if you find one you can't have one.
Its not like I'm feeling lonely before. Just that these days its more frequent.
These days things entertain me less.
I'm becoming less materialistic. Good for me. But what about me being happy.
Feels like Im not at the right place now. I think Im needed somewhere more badly. Good thing is I know. Bad thing is I don't know about what to do.